When we moved to Kentucky, we decided that we were not going to have a home phone line. We figured our cell phones would be good enough means for people to communicate with us. But when they were putting in the internet, they “had” to set up a phone line for us, and they gave us a number and told us that we don’t have to pay for anything as long as we don’t call out. All incoming calls are free. I guess their definition of pay is strictly monetary because this “free” phone has been a headache.
It used to be exciting when the phone would ring, as I would wonder who was on the other side. Sometimes it would be pretty easy to guess. At 9:00 on Sunday night that was my Papa calling for his weekly visit with my Dad. While we were living in Enid, if the phone rang on the line that my sister and I “shared” it would be Callie, her best friend. I say “shared” because I got maybe 5% of the phone calls and was on there just 2% of the time.
Sometimes you have those dreaded phone calls. Living in a preacher’s house, there was great anxiety when the phone rang between 10 P.M. and 7 A.M. I remember when my Grandmother was really sick, I knew that any time my mom called it could be the call. I think we all have these sort of phone memories: some sweet, some sour, but all left a taste in our mouth.
So when we moved here, I thought that this phone would just be another phone like the many we have had before, allowing the locals to call us without dialing long distance. But I was wrong. The first time the phone rang in our house, it was not for us. The stupid automated voice went something like this, “This is a phone call for … H..(I don’t think I should post his name on my blog for fear that they will come after me here as well thinking that I know such man) Cooper… by listening to the rest of this message you are confirming that you are … H. Cooper.” So I hang up the phone. A week later, Heather answers the phone, same automated voice for the same H. Cooper. A week later, we don’t answer the phone, and it leaves a message for… H. Cooper, and by “listening to this message” we confirmed that we are H.Cooper. So, we continue to get phone calls, 8 months of calls for H. Cooper. We listen to the whole message. It says that if we are not H.Cooper then we can all this 1-888 number and we will stop getting calls. This irritates me. Why should I have to pick up the phone and call them to tell them that I am not him. That’s ridiculous, but anyway one day I am annoyed enough that I take my cell phone (because I don’t want to be charged for calling out on my regular phone) and my cell phone number is blocked by this stupid company. I wish that I could post this company’s name, but they never tell me anything, and I am scared to say that I am H.Cooper and actually possibly talk to a real live person, because what if they don’t believe and increase their phone calling because now they have caught me.
I give a few warnings to internet world out there. If you are the company that is trying to get Mr. Cooper’s money, good luck because apparently 50 unresponded to phone calls does not decrease your persistence of slamming your head into the brick wall that is calling my number. Secondly, Mr. H. Cooper if I ever meet you in the street, we will have words. Serious words. I also hope you get out of debt soon. Very soon. Third, there is a recorded voice lady, who I am sure is very nice, but I hope not to hear that voice, or I will suddenly get upset.
Now, if you are still reading, my rant is not over yet. (Jordan, I hope you enjoy this, and I’m sure that this will make you want to come back to America real soon.) We additionally will get other phone calls from other creditors for other people. I don’t know who had this number before us, but I will be happy to pass this number on to someone else one day, hoping for their sake that the debt collectors calls don’t continue. The other annoying part of this “free” phone has been, well let me tell you that story as well.
One day the phone rings and Heather does what normal people do, and answers it only to find that someone else has already picked up, so Heather interrupts the conversation, confused, as to what is going on. The other person on the phone is surprised and agitated that Heather broke into the conversation. For the next day or two, there continues to be this problem that people call asking for someone named Stacy. We tell them that Stacy does not live here, and they should try another number. A little bit later, phone rings twice and it stops. So we call our phone company tell them the situation, we think that they got the wires crossed. We were wrong. Some of our neighbors from down the street were stealing our phone line. Now this ticks me off for a few reasons. One, why sound agitated that we were on the phone, when you stole our phone. Second, did you not think you were going to get caught? Did you really think that someone was going to go the rest of their time living there without answering the phone. Because in order for people to call them they had to give them OUR NUMBER. So, people would know they are calling the right number repeat our number back to us, and then we got to tell people that their friends were thieves. That makes people get quiet quickly. I should say some people quiet quickly others argued with us that we were not who we said we were, and that their friends weren’t crooks. Heather made some girl cry, as she tried to explain the situation with their theiving friends. Lastly, I’m ticked off at the phone company because after we told them of this, they told us to check our bill and make sure that nothing unusual wasn’t on it that they couldn’t just look at it and take care of it. Now, I’m not a genius, but shouldn’t they be capable of looking at our bill and understanding that those apparant calls out were not ours. It upsets me when people don’t have good customer service.
That all happened a couple months ago. Nobody has called for a Stacy of late, thankfully. So, if you made it this far, bless you. Here is my free advice: don’t get into debt. Don’t steal someone’s phone line. And call someone you love because we all need those phone calls that lift our souls, instead of making us give over a 1000 word rant.